Incest in zest!

 

What differentiates us, humans from animals is our ability to form relationships, define it, enjoy the benefits from it and also whine when it is turns sour. And interestingly, for us, humans, procreation is a recreational outcome of sex. Sex is as much biological cement in a relationship as dynamite and hence calls for calls for pru(dent) usage.

I had no idea that the bed room would be turned into a hunting ground that night. The lights first went out and then he waited till his roommate, sleeping in the living room, snored his way to slumberland. I was lying physically exhausted next to my friend, sharing his bed, and my body language clearly said that I was not interested. Earlier in the day, during a conversation, I had told him that I was not looking for any flings and I was taking a sex-holiday. And that night I even built a mini Himalayas between us with pillows and crossed my legs indicating my disapproval for any touch or recreational accident. But he still didn’t seem to get it.

Next morning I dragged something along with me to the restroom; it was not my growling tummy and ready-to-burst bladder, but a strange feeling of violation. While the tooth brush was busy freshening up my teeth, my mind was busy chewing the cud from the last night. My eyes were still closed, matching and processing the imagery with sensory from last night; It was so blurry that it seemed I was suffering from both myopia and hyperopia. So what happened the previous night?

Not reacting to his paws and prowls from last night and noticing my normal behavior during the day, he asked me if I recollected his kisses, a dozen times, from last night. I was not prepared for this question, though I appreciated him putting it out there for a discussion. I told him that I felt someone feeling me up and kissing me all over my face, but I wasn’t sure if I was imagining or it really happened. His incestuous smile confirmed the truth, but I told him my choice was always the same irrespective of dream or reality.

Was my mind conjuring the un-happened or did it really happen? I was unable to make that call. Since I was staying with him for only a night I didn’t want to bring up this topic and embarrass him, but nevertheless the thought of failing to respect boundaries of friendship and terms of endearment bothered me. I was his guest, his friend, but I was definitely not ready to be his friend with benefits.

What if he was my type and I trespass the blurry boundaries of friendship and scaled the walls of morality that I suddenly seem to respect and invoke? Would incest vanish then? I paused and asked myself, what kind of beings are gay men?

Why do gay men assume that friendship always comes with benefits and there are no rules when it comes to bed of pleasures? May be that is the price we pay for practicing sex for recreation? Or May be this a price for being someone’s guest and letting guards down? So should gay men be trusted?

While putting this blog together, I also recollected several “manminds” that I and my friends had been through. After I broke up with my ex we were trying to weave back our friendship and on a bus journey together, he tried to get physical with me. When I asked an acquaintance in Singapore to meet up with my closest gay friend, who just moved to Singapore, the acquaintance tried to feel him up in the movie hall.  Visiting a friend, traveling with an ex, going out with a new acquaintance for a movie or spending a night with a long known friend, why should it mean I am available for a touch, taste and toss to them?

Now do you understand how sex turns from being biological cement to dynamite in a relationship and how gay men irresponsibly use sex? This brings me to the point in discussion for this blog: Do bedrooms, acquaintances and friendships have rules of engagement and endearment? And lastly, are gay men epitomes of incest?