Friday, July 10, 2015

Setting them free



A week ago a bird lover told me that birds in captivity find it stressful and hardly survive when released in the wild. Since I had no knowledge of birds and their behavior, I thought it was a fiction more than a fact. And during the same week, Times of India published a shocking story about 700 abandoned puppies and kittens in the last 2 months. Many of these animals that grew up in protected environment find it difficult to survive in the wild. These abandoned pets are attacked by strays and find it an uphill task to again start trusting human companion. And now I understood why he didn’t want to empty his aviary, despite my suggestion to set the birds free.

Longing hope and burning desire
Refugees like Clemantine Wamariya, who escaped the Rawanda massacre are separated from their families for eternity. Though she began a new life in the US, but there was a longing hope and burning desire to see her family. You can read in the article to learn how she tried to communicate with her mother to let her know that she was alive. Clementine’s behavior and emotions are similar to those that of estranged couples and partners: a strong desire to unite, and longing to communicate their existence and deep curiosity to find out about each other’s well-being. But is there a flip side to reunion?

The happy ending
There was a great excitement and emotions ran high show when Clemantine was reunited with her family on the Oprah Winfrey. This is how many of us feel when we see our ex’s. And after a few days Clemantine realized that the excitement vanished and they had nothing much to share and that their lives were separate and very different. Her family went back to their life in Africa, and Clemantine returned to her life and continued to enjoy the warmth and care of her guardian, Mrs. Thomas.

X-files
Strangely, after a gap of a few years my ex got in touch with me over an email. London may be just a three hour train ride from Paris, but we had moved many manmiles both emotionally and physically over the years. I was reminded of the painful telephone call he made in 2005 letting me know that he was moving to another city. On his recent email when asked me for my mobile number and invited me to visit him, and that’s when I started to grow wary.

I was curious to know why he is trying to get in touch with me and the real intent behind this invite. I was reminded of 2007 June, when he called me in the morning while stationed in Seattle on a project to let me know that he was breaking-up with me and that he was already in another relationship. After that call, my mobile remained switched off for months until I could get back myself together.

Today, the concerned Indian in me wondered if everything was okay with his parents, and if he finally had adopted a kid to make the wonderful home and beautiful marriage complete. I responded to his email without asking too many personal questions or sharing too many details about me.

And finally, when he shared that he had separated from his partner last summer and they will soon be going through divorce proceedings. I was in a state of disbelief and I re-read the email a few times to let his words sink in, but I was also tempted to ask who gets to keep their cat?

Do reunion experiments work?
There is a great sense of achievement when we humans fall in love with feathered and faithful creatures under the pretext of giving them a good life. But then many of us ruthlessly dump them in garbage cans and abandon them in alleys. Sadly, there is a hope for reunion and we know how that ends.

Should we try and capture the birds we set free? Does the pain of separation and abandonment linger longer in humans more than in animals? I don’t know, but we all get scarred for life. A few hours later my ex made a proposal to visit me in Paris, and I was reminded of Oprah’s failed social experiment to cement Clemantine and her separated family together. There is definitely a life beyond reunion and happy ending.