We have done 2 GLBT Pride marches with little or no opposition and question is still unanswered Is Chennai ready and open? More importantly the question should be Is LGBT community ready and open? If u were at the Pride you will choose the words dismal and disappointing to describe the participation. Examine the participants from each of the LGBT and their background you will be surprised at the social and economic spread. Maslow, Darwin and Moore were all right!
Of 50 gays who walked 10 were not natives of Chennai (may be they felt comfortable walking the pride in a city where they don’t live or belong), 10 were family and supporters, 10 were foreign nationals, and only 20 city boys walked with pride. Even among those only 10 walked without masks or other disguises.
We all know the number of people from Chennai who are registered on websites such as Planet roomeo, Gaydar, adultfriendfinder, etc. looking to meet their own community to satiate various desires. Of 10,000 plus in the city (assuming that 10% of the population is gay, my number is lot more conservative (I am a Chennaite!))only 20 walked the pride. Is it alarming or appalling?
I sent text messages to 10 of my friends that morning, many didn’t respond and I was just able to convince one of them to walk with me. And I had to assure him that I would get him a mask to wear. At the end of the pride he was happy and fear was quashed.
Many from the LGBT stayed on the sidelines and watched the parade along with the public. Many stayed behind the walls and firewalls, watched the pride coverage on television or read about it in the newspaper the next morning. Well that is how the LGBT community in Chennai and much across India is. Many who walked had disguise masks and crossed their fingers hoping not be spotted in the media by near and dear at home and work. Is it really a Pride walk or Paranoid walk?
It is not just with walking, it is with working and volunteering. Organizers and volunteers of the Pride March say it is tough to get people to volunteer for community. Truth is that most of us are watchers than walkers!
Chennai pride is just 2 years old, but LGBT community has always been a part of this city thrived and flourished in the underbelly. Now the time has come to work within the community and work outside the community. Deal with real issues apart from just the walk or community activity before the walk.
1.How can we get the rest of the community to shed their apprehension and take that first step towards the labor statute? How can we build trust, confidence and create a safe world for them to live, walk and laugh?
2.Gay, Lesbians, Transgenders and bi-sexual people exist at every social and economic level. How do we get representation from all strata and all regions? How do we create the inclusiveness? What is our grass root strategy?
3.Though we walked together as LGBT, but each of us has different sets of challenges and issues. How do we address them separately? For ex: Men are bold and brave to be a part of online community and meet people, but women get little chance to meet birds of same feather and are apprehensive about their safety and meeting people from online world.
4.How do we help each of the 4 groups with road maps to life and happy living (dating, relationship, old age, social responsibility)? How do we leverage literature and the social models from West and Indianize it? How do we prepare and support them for the life ahead?
5.How do we create more awareness and acceptance among LGBT circle of interaction and influence (family, work, friends and extended family) and policy makers?
6.How do we change public perception of L, G B and T and sustain image makeover?
7.Why can LGBT community be responsible, caring, loving, sensitive, and socially conscious and participative?
8.Can’t we can be the change we want to see in the world? Can’t we make healthy road maps from the next generation LGBT?
I am parking just a few questions that occured to me during the march. I am sure there are many more out there. Hope I will be able to take it up with the local community for a discussion.
Until then let the Labor statue (labor of love) remind of us the hard work ahead of us and my belabor end!
9 comments:
I felt the same way. Even someone like me who is out to family will not go for this because I do not want someone commenting to my parents about me. That would be very hurting for them. I will take the walk when my family is also ready for it. It should not be forgotten that is only the second year of the parade and I am sure these parades will grow in size over the coming years.
If we want to be of help to each other, we need to have many non-sexual social groups that meet often. Also it would help reduce the tendency to go have anonymous sex (and forget it) and would encourage people to have more meaningful relationships.
Nice post, I agree to much of what you have said, but I'd like a say, before I get down to the details.
Agree -
This was a complete wash out from the Gay's, there were hardly any,and this despite, the volunteers trying to reach out time and again, and I think that was my biggest disappointment.
I don't care if you are masked or not,but it's disappointing,that you choose to bury your head in the sand and pretend that,some one else will show up, some one else will picket, fight the battle for your rights. The worst thing that we can do as a community do, is be invisible..and thats exactly what the gay's in this city are.
This whole pride month, there were numerous events to raise awareness, drum up some fun, and also make encourage the community to come together, and mind you these were all safe spaces, but unfortunately the same apathy manifested, the Gays did a No show.
Also you rightly picked up, upwardly mobile, professionals, socially prominent among the gay community, choose to conveniently stay away? So in essence you have an image thats mostly Trans/and from the fringes ..and that really needs to change...Here is when the Bangalore boys, and the folks form outside the city really helped...TOI...picked up comments from a couple who helped us carry the flag all through the march. when will the Chennai boys stand up and be counted!
We really have to get back to the drawing boards, on how you are going to engage, and make aware and have the boys come on board!!
I think before making people walk for the PRIDE, they need to me made confident about their sexuality. Can't expect them to walk the Pride in a day's notice.
Many guys have loads to loose if they come out....being MARRIED.
Young men stood start standing up for themselves.
Need to kill the conservative attitude (in Chennai).
Thanks for the article and your insights. It seems that you are
experiencing many of the things past generations have experienced. At least
the present generation has the opportunity to be open. I think any plan of
this type must secure and include the support of those who are not one of the
LGBT community members. Integration does wonders. My belief is not to
isolate ourselves but to be a part of the larger society. We have to function
in that society with all types, some of which are not supportive or very
pleasant people. These are my thoughts. PLease keep me posted. Clay V. Sink
Bala:
Sure let them walk the pride when they are really proud and ready. We hope it grows in quality and quantity.
Completely agree with you. We need to create a non sexual space for people to life, laugh and let live.
Bijay, you ended your vacation and came to Chennai a month ago to take care of the pride activities. I can understand your care and concern. The need of the hour is to do an analysis paralysis of the situation and put together strategies and programs that will create inclusiveness, trust and pride. Let us call a forum to discuss on the drawing board.
Nice article. I am not sure if the gay commercial sex workers were part of the walk on Sunday. I think this population is an important part of LGBT who need to be educated and made to feel comfortable about themselves. I am sure there are forums to deal with this set of people but included them in the mainstream LGBT activities will give them the recognition they deserve.
Anonymous,
The conservative will vanish once you provide a safe space to walk out of the closet. Recognition comes at the end and comes as a result of our actions. Let us not command respect and recognition, let it come to us when due.
Well, It’s high time we innovate through disruptive ideas, all inclusive and keep the basic qualities of human life intact; trust, faith, integrity in our action.
If you guys call yourself the face of our community in Chennai, pardon me, I beg to differ. How many of us can relate to you, how many of us do you know even? Do we actually trust you, while opening our deeply reserved covert, primarily driven by societal pressure?
The idea is simple; let’s not work bring the delta in society; let’s bring the right change in ourselves. It’s all about paradigm shift, relativity, changing the perspective of subject and context.
If you the face of our community in Chennai, I wanna ask two sets of questions. Set 1) how many do you know are great singers, or great poet? How many are gifted speakers, photographers, dancers? How many of us paint well, or like building sculptures, or great athletes? And if I question, Set 2), how many of us look good, how many has ‘free’ place, how many has hairless built chest? We don’t require deeper analysis for subjectively arriving at the proportion of correct answer.
We make too much of an issue out of non-issue, and then we have communities within the community. If I want to give an empirical formula to the extinction of civilization, history suggests, extinction is directly proportional to the creation of ‘the elite’, and not by just a degree of one, the rate of decay is of a higher order. And in recent past, from Indian electoral system, what happened to Minister Tharoor, why did Mr. C Naidu’s Cyberabad could not lead him to the power, why did BJP’s India Shining Campaign, led by Mr. Mahajan was a cataclysm for the party, while its struggling to bring sanity and order to the system.
Taking this as a context and base for my argument and hence proposal, lets create a forum where we nurture all inclusive ideas, nurture our strength and not the weakness of our society. Relate to common guy on the street, rather than writing intellectual blogs and creating 'elites'. Lets not talk about sexual problems and making people aware about it, lets forget hygiene, lets rather bring people together based on common interest not just common orientation. How about a group brunch where people can talk about the world economics, or share fiction or enjoy painting together and leave their problems aside. It will address two issues, first, there wont by any Chinese wall of ‘gay all’ discussion, where people are not comfortable coming to, and second, it will bring in harmony, trust and the true sense of ‘pride’ in the community. I trust you,and I gotta common interest, hence I attend the activity !
Simple idea; no drawing boards, no pressure, no deadlines, no strategies, no power point, no concept note, no structure, and this high entropy will bring in order in the system. Its nothing but the evolution of the community, bringing best out of people, connecting people by commonalities beyond orientation, beyond betrayal, and making them taste the essence of trust and faith. Let us first learn to respect each other, learn to 'un-bitch', people will join in the movement.
Pride 2011 will be the effect of our celebrations, not the cause of our agony and frustration. Pride 2011 will command and will not demand respect from the society.
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