Sex - A journey not a destination!

I wonder how many of you have really enjoyed the moments post the hormonal rush not worried about stained sheets and shooing your subject/object of pleasure (I call it getting rid of evidences and memories) and entertaining your new sense of hygiene and washing your guilt by jumping in the shower and treating every piece of cloth including your partner like dirty laundry and bed room like a crime scene. I know most of us will be able to relate to my topic of discussion either as criminals or victims.

I have known him for a year and when I held him against my chest for the first time I had this feeling I had known him for many births. Familiarity didn’t breed contempt! Defenses were down and insecurity vanished. There was no intention to seduce or suffocate, but everything that evening turned out to be beautiful that started with a mere hold. He said we could finish the evening with just that hold and made is sound as if my arms were the seat of his soul.

Like a satin ribbon around an eagerly awaited gift to be opened, I enjoyed wrapping my hands a treasure and trove of excitement. My palms felt every beat and every skipped beat in his chest but I was in no hurry to severe my ties with the gift or unwrap it. My soul was intoxicated from just the hug. The very thought of the scene makes my mind serene! Sex is not the destination it is the journey!

We all spend hours identifying, prospecting and attracting the right one while pretending to the best. Then we create the place and finally setting the stage and enact a script to climax, but seldom have we spent time post coital to enjoy the pure meditative state not with contemplation but just complete the moments unadulterated of love.

Like love, sex cannot be discussed and planned. The connection is instant and you don’t know how you get into it and when you get out of it. All you have to do is be attentive and sensitive. A sensuous touch can send him into a spiral instantly; a mere hiss can create a chuckle and become a ripple that touch the soul and open up the dormant volcano of emotions. Stimulate the emotions, receive and recognize without loss, and finally amplify to make the other partner feel loved and celebrated. Remember simulation is always a part of stimulation. Happiness is received as a result of giving and receiving.

Sex is not about climaxing but it is about connecting and communicating. Do people even know this side of sex? Once the fluid power is spent mind goes on to wander and invent a variety of reasons to get out of the place. Pearl necklaces turn into Pearl harbors and waist belts suddenly become ugly and are no more perceived as badges of honor or achievements. Is it waking up from comma feeling? What was yum so far suddenly becomes yuck when it leaks out of the body. But why?

I have had people who got dressed and left the place in minutes, I have had conversations till the fluids dried, I have had people who’ve brought cold towel and cleaned me up and I have had a few stay back and made the ritual extra special. What a variety!

Some of my best lovers have taught me the art of complete enjoyment in sex. I have learnt the most about love and lust in the minutes after climax. Like the beautiful stars that wink and twinkle I have seen some beautiful souls in the twilight hour under the blankets. Are you waiting for the twilight hour?

I have curled up with my partners and finished a tub of ice-cream together in bed while discussing politics, relationships, jobs and life. When our defenses and judgments are lying on the floor along with our clothes, isn’t that the best moment to take a peep at the naked soul? Bonding is further increased when we jump into the shower together and making the ritual of bathing into a ritual of bonding. He turns on the hot water and brings the towels while I take a leak and then we jump into the shower. I watch the beauty of every bit of his muscle hydrated on the outside and then I soap his back and he shampoos my head and then we share jokes and stories in the shower. He dries me and offers me a fresh piece of clothing. Sex is also not just about sensual touch, but also about love and care in the after moments.

The post sexual moments is like the twilight hour, it is not pitch dark and it is not glaringly bright, yet very mystical! It is not the union of hormones, not a vulgar exhibition of carnal behavior, but a mere display that tender touch, care, love and satisfaction when the engine and spark plug is switched “off”.

Sex is not about mileage, time, or repetitions but about satisfaction. Sex is a two way to communication between souls with the language of touch and feel using the body as a medium. Do people even get to that level of communication? And I always believed 50% of sexual pleasure is derived from how you treat the person before and after sex. Doesn't matter if you don't have a relationship in life, but dont miss such moments of intimate intimacy!

Giving is caring, caring is nurturing and nurturing is loving. Let us getaway from show up and shove up world and explore the beauty of the soul. Doesn’t matter even if you don’t want to meet that person again, but still you extend the arm of love and care without showing him the door!

Remember, the destination becomes more interesting when the journey is made interesting. Let us understand the journey so that the destination becomes self explanatory and self joyous!