Three things about gay men that make think engaging with them for one night stands is easier and less complicated than friendship.
1. Lies: I see this man on Grindr hunting for dicks to wake up his sleepy ass (he says it has been in a comma for 4 months) and he lies to me on whatsapp that he never logged on to it!
2. Parallel relationship: a married gay guy just sends his wife home for good (divorce not yet filed) but wants me to move to his city and start a live-in relationship before the other one ends. He even offered to book my flight tickets.
3. Stranger to friend to good-bye: Even Shumachers race car doesn't go that fast.
Week 1: we meet for coffee and I tell him I don't commit myself for a relationship until I know the person for a year. I show him the route to friendship.
Week 2: we chat off and on and he sends me a music CD by mail. The envelope is yet to be opened.
Week 3: he invites himself and books himself on a flight ticket to come and spend a few days with me and meet my family.
Week 4: he shows up with sweets, gifts and even cries when he leaves for the airport.
Week 5: he sends me flowers and says he likes me and even stalks me on whatsapp. I feel jittery, uncomfortable and anxious with his behavior.
Week 6: he sends me an email letting me know it is all over and he has deleted my number and doesn't want to keep in touch with me. Reason: he is still carrying baggage from the earlier relationship.
How am I supposed to react to such men who call themselves honest, sorted, and simple on their online profiles? My one year wait time for a relationship really weeds out the fake and drama fairies. In just 6 weeks i witnessed lies killing trust, drama killing friendship and baggage from earlier relationship creating murkiness in the mind. Now i know why these guys complain about loneliness!
I'm sure there are more out there who are not what they say on their profiles and don't know how to seed and grow relationships with patience and care and prudence without suffocation. For now I'm taking a break from lies, relationship and drama and i am in no hurry to find my partner. Did I say no sex? :)
1 comment:
Finally you are back!! And in form! Is this a sort of a preview for all that has been happening?!!
I dunno if I can speak for others, but I guess the LRD is there atleast in me. Not exactly in the way you had experienced, but I sure have lied, and done a lot of drama ... but then u learn and move on.. maybe they are on their way to school??? :)
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