Alexa, Quelle est la pensée Richy?

If you are still single at my age (late 30s to early 40s) getting laid is relatively simple and a realistic ambition easily satisfied by Grindr, Scruff, etc. But if you are looking to find a partner then it can turn out to be a tricky and tough search. The 20 and 30 year olds prefer boys of their age, while those around my age are either settled or still hoping to catch a younger rainbow or may have given up on their search; simply not looking and not interested.

Living my 20s away from home getting educated, spending my 30s back with my family and attending to their needs, and now at the start of my 40 I have a burning desire to settle down with my man. Despite two failed attempts: one in my late-twenties and other in my mid-thirties, I am still optimistic with caution. 

On one of my trips more than three years ago to Paris, I met someone interesting. We connected and stayed in touch after I went back and six months later my work moved me to Paris. I felt my prayers were heard and that I was getting an opportunity to live in with someone again. But a week before I got here my hope came crashing when he told that he was not living with a roommate, but it was his partner for 18 years and they were getting ready to split up and move out. 

As much as I wanted him, I wanted him to have a clean break and some cooling time before we started seeing. I put out the relationship flame immediately and two and half years later, we ended up being good friends after an initial period of silence. He continues to live with his partner and is in the look out for an apartment to move out on his own. Secrets and living in with a partner and calling him a roommate are both dangerous. 

As a result of being single for the last three years and optimistic, every time when I come across eligible, available, smart and single men, my heart mildly fibrillates in hope and not in desperation. I ask myself what do I need to do to get this man? I don't ask this in a consumeristic way, but as individual yearning to know the person, work hard to prove my worthiness and eventually have him end by single hood. Isn't that a reasonable desire with commitment to work hard? 

I didn't go to Ptown with an ambition to find somebody, but he seemed special among group in the resort. It was definitely not love at first sight, but I cannot deny the attraction. The time we spent discovering the city, going on shopping trips and dancing together helped us slowly discover our personalities, interests and answer other questions we had on our mind about each other.

The walks, shopping trips and tea dance we did together during the next two days helped us discover our personalities. And when he told me that he was going back for a few days, my heart sank, but came back up like a buoy when he announced that would he back in Boatslip in the middle of the week and in time for the carnival. 

The three days when he was away felt like weeks apart and we texted back and forth to convey our feelings from being apart and our eagerness to meet soon. He is funny, intellectual, and very much my type and age: checking all my boxes, but does it mean that he is available and looking? And I was in the U.S. and in Ptown on vacation, so does this mean that it is going to be a fling or a summer romance set in Ptown?

I had no idea what was running on his mind, but I gave myself the freedom to enjoy the newly discovered and fresh love that was coming my way after a three year self-imposed hiatus. Before we both realized, the mutual attraction pushed the boundaries of intimacy: spending our time together, from taking showers, hanging out to sleeping at night together. One of my friends even commented that we were now staring to behave like lesbians and an engagement ring and U Haul truck wasn't far away.

The five days of courting and hanging out together from dawn until dusk convinced us of our attraction, but will it sustain a week-long separation was the question. I woke up early on that morning and found Rich's arms around me, that was definitely a sign of endearment. Don't you agree? I slowly extricated myself while he was still asleep and left a pillow in my place. But it was not long before Richy texted me asking where I was and soon joined me at the breakfast table near the lobby. At the breakfast table we shared our stories of life that reinforced the foundation of trust and explained our expectations.

Later that morning, he came all all the way to see me off at the ferry point to Boston. Had I known that I was going to meet someone as charming and affectionate as Richy, I would have not booked my tickets to visit my friends in the Mid-west, who would only be happy for me. But nevertheless, I went ahead with my trip and promised to stay in touch through messages, pictures and blogs. The one-week apart also gave us time to calm down our hormones and pragmatically reassess our feelings. Is forty the new twenty? 

And when I came back after a week, he was at Boston airport waiting to pick me up like a devoted partner. He re-established his love with a kiss on my lips and his right hand was holding my left hand while he steered his Volkswagen Rabbit for the next hour before it came to a halt at a restaurant in his neighborhood. A light meal concluded with a water melon mojito sorbet and mangue ananas creme brûlée became an appetizer for what we ended up serving each other in bed.

I came back to this city after a gap of 12 years, while my prospective boyfriend from then was already paired up and happily settled. There was no comparison, unhappiness or peer pressure, but will Richy put an end to my perpetual bachelor hood for eternity?

That night I spooned to my left side so that Richy could hold me from behind; his touch was firm in a loving way. We slept peacefully after our union and Richy was asleep before I could close my eyes. We exchanged a dozen kisses before we got out of bed the next morning. As we stepped out of the room, he summoned Alexa, Amanzon's Echo to play wake up music. 

He quickly brushed and joined me in the shower and while we soaped each other we firmed up the plans for the day like a married couple. Before we left home he again summoned Alexa like a genie asking her for an update on weather. And without Alexa's help we checked on each other a few times during the day before I drove back to pick him up in the evening.

Our pact was to leave behind all that happened in Ptown back there, but what about things in Providence. It sounded surreal and like a fairytale to me. But how about him? What is running in his mind? If it was meant to be short lived why did his mind not turn into a wary wife leaving no chambre pour la bon moment et l'magnifique memoir du l'affaire? 

 

But why didn't the wife not intervene when we created memories in our shower, bed room and funny stories with Alexa? How about our shopping trips and romantic dinners or when I picked him up from work. Was she okay with this arrangement? Did she know it was going to be a short-lived summer novel set in Ptown or was she building our future together beginning in Providence? 

Finally, the wife came out when I gave him a thank you card appreciating his kindness and care. I thought she was going to let him display it on the counter next to the kitchen sink, but instead she made him leave the card aside like other old magazines in his living room. Are these cards like the many pairs shoes that filled his living room and closet at the entrance? 

Alexa knew the climate, but does she know the climax? Alexa, what do I decipher from this? Will Richy end my single hood? Does he have secrets like my French friend? Could you please find out his feelings and share them with me? Unfortunately, I found out while driving to the airport that Alexa doesn't work outside of the U.S. and I would have to get back to the U.S. to get her response. 

The Gay Pilgrimage

You could be participating in a quiz show and posed with a tricky million dollar question to name the city popularly referred to as the Gay pilgrimage. You have four choices to pick from: Las Vegas, San Francisco, Miami, Province Town. Are you ready to make the million dollar pick? While you ponder over the winning answer, let me give you a visual and verbal tour of this dream destination.

 

Visitors come to this city for a variety of reasons, filled with desires, dreams, and some come filled with curiosity to get under the skin of the city and in the sheets of people. Don't be scared yet! This beautiful ocean town with coastline on either side makes you wonder if this land was created by nature for the GLBTQ community. But way before these guys arrived the Pilgrims got here in the 17th century and A tall tower (a phallic symbol?) commemorating their landing at the centre of the city is visible from miles away. 

This coastline is home to huge mammals and humans. Did I say bears? :) This city doesn't distinguish or discriminate based on gender, race or sexual preference and gives everyone a space to share and care. When nature welcomes can there be an opportunity for discrimination?

Be it summer or winter this town hosts events and weeks to celebrate our likes and preferences: lesbian week, bear week, gay week, leather week, etc. And it also inspires straight people afraid of homosexuality to shed their prejudices and inhibitions and pick-up cupid's arrow to spread the message of love and peaceful coexistence. 

The Disneyland for LGBTQ

If you are from the LGBTQ community you don't have to be worried or threatened about letting your hair down or just being your silly and happy self. You can French kiss in the middle of the street, hold hands your partner hands, feel his/her ass in public, dress up in fancy costumes and express your libido, sexuality and creativity. Though same sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states in the U.S. this kind of freedom and independence to openly demonstrate ones love and affection in public is yet to spread across the nation. 

Many of the businesses in town are both owned and served by LGBTQ community and when you are addressed as honey, sweet heart, darling, etc. you feel inclusive, welcomed and loved. The stores here also offer a great variety of clothing to pick and choose from and sales are held during carnival time (usually third weekend in August) makes you look pretty without damaging your wallet. You will find some the best clothes and costumes to disarm the homophobic society of their prejudice. So, why spend your pink dollars elsewhere?

Beaches, Islands and Cuisine

You can swim in the waters of Atlantic and also catch the warm August sun to sport a gregous tan. A bicycle ride to the nude beaches: Long Point and Herring Cove offers a good cardio work out, while giving some an opportunity to show off their great bodies making many hearts skip a beat.

If you are in a mood to explore the ocean and its marine life then get on a trip to see the three exotic species: Minke, Humpback, and Fin whales that can turn you both into an ambassador for conservation and admirer of marine life for eternity. And, If you want to explore the nearby islands to south of the town, a quick ferry ride will make your feel Christopher Columbus. 

The exploration of the ocean and the islands may take you on a salivation trip with its fresh oysters, scallops, muscles, calamaris, clams, and cod fish (fruits de mer). And if you like them in a certain way then there are cuisines from around the world (Caribbean, Indian, Asian, etc.) that tingle your taste buds and make them taste even more exotic with their species and culinary techniques. For health freaks and weight-watchers there are also juice and smoothie bars to make you feel refreshed and fabulous. 

Clubs and Cubs 

Every culture has its Bollywood equivalent: from plays to musical shows to bars this town is self contained. Clubs like Shipwreck, Waves, Crown and A House offer peppy music and spacious dance floors, while piano bars and karaoke clubs provide a platform to showcase musical talents thereby extending your happiness until the wee hours of the morning. 

There is so much love in air that it can leave you intoxicated quickly. Don't be surprised if you hear a passerby asking you and your partner to take a room rather than making out in quiet and dark alleys or car parks. Leather and Macho bars also provide good venues for intoxication and naughtiness. For Cubs in search of Bears, dick dock (below the main deck at Boatslip) offers a play ground to get wild and wet at late night. Where you do it, always remember to play safe. 

The Best Show in town

The best show in the town is free and comes alive on the Carnival day every year. Curious visitors and public start to book their vantage spots on the side walk on Commercial Street since morning, while participants book their hotel rooms a year in advance to be bring color and creativity to the carnival. 

At the end of year carnival the next theme for the next year's carnival is announced. If the 2014 carnival brought alive Superheros like Batman, Spider-Man, Superman, etc. to life the 2015 rained candies turning the place into a candy land. A lot of effort and imagination goes into planning and preparing costumes which has the magical power to cure the straight world of their prejudices and inspire the queers to be proud of their innate gift. 

The D-day

The 2-hour parade that begins at around at 3pm from eastern end of the city traverses through Commercial Street before terminating at the western end. Like every parade, there is plenty of music, distribution of freebies, and thoughtful product placements and advertising and marketing. And surprisingly some who come to watch the parade also get inspired and sport costumes, dress up their pets adding more color and energy to the carnival thereby spreading the message of love and togetherness.

The parade culminates at Boatslip Resort where all participants meet, mingle, and network expressing their camaraderie. For those who still have energy to expend, can go to dance floor at Boatslip (referred to Tea Dance) and shake their muscles and bones to tunes. 

By the next morning the streets littered with candies, confetti and pamphlets from the carnival are cleaned up and normalcy returns to the town. Friends who came together for the carnival make a pact to return the following year before dispersing their way. New lovers who came together at the carnival from different cities depart with heavy heart and fond memories, and the lustful ones go in search of newer venues. 

So, did you figure out the million dollar answer yet? 

Pilgrimage: A Cure for Ignorance

Take a pilgrimage to Provincetown and experience the cape and its colorful carnival and get cured of your ignorance. For many in the LGBTQ community this experience feels like a second birth. It cures them of their fears and phobias and leaves them invigorated. But, what about the straight ones and their children? The carnival and the town can cure them of their homophobia and also educate and sensitize their children to same sex love to end discrimination and create an inclusive world. 

Only if you make it to the carnival and P-Town you will realize what the world would look like without LGBTQ community: colorless, pale, unidimensional, listless, and devoid of beauty. Make a resolve to come to Provincetown, enjoy the carnival, make new friends, feel like a million dollar, and spread the positive energy to create many more such inclusive towns, societies and carnivals around the world.

Setting them free

A week ago a bird lover told me that birds in captivity find it stressful and hardly survive when released in the wild. Since I had no knowledge of birds and their behavior, I thought it was a fiction more than a fact. And during the same week, Times of India published a shocking story about 700 abandoned puppies and kittens in the last 2 months. Many of these animals that grew up in protected environment find it difficult to survive in the wild. These abandoned pets are attacked by strays and find it an uphill task to again start trusting human companion. And now I understood why he didn’t want to empty his aviary, despite my suggestion to set the birds free.

Longing hope and burning desire

Refugees like Clemantine Wamariya, who escaped the Rawanda massacre are separated from their families for eternity. Though she began a new life in the US, but there was a longing hope and burning desire to see her family. You can read in the article to learn how she tried to communicate with her mother to let her know that she was alive. Clementine’s behavior and emotions are similar to those that of estranged couples and partners: a strong desire to unite, and longing to communicate their existence and deep curiosity to find out about each other’s well-being. But is there a flip side to reunion?

The happy ending

There was a great excitement and emotions ran high show when Clemantine was reunited with her family on the Oprah Winfrey. This is how many of us feel when we see our ex’s. And after a few days Clemantine realized that the excitement vanished and they had nothing much to share and that their lives were separate and very different. Her family went back to their life in Africa, and Clemantine returned to her life and continued to enjoy the warmth and care of her guardian, Mrs. Thomas.

X-files

Strangely, after a gap of a few years my ex got in touch with me over an email. London may be just a three hour train ride from Paris, but we had moved many manmiles both emotionally and physically over the years. I was reminded of the painful telephone call he made in 2005 letting me know that he was moving to another city. On his recent email when asked me for my mobile number and invited me to visit him, and that’s when I started to grow wary.

I was curious to know why he is trying to get in touch with me and the real intent behind this invite. I was reminded of 2007 June, when he called me in the morning while stationed in Seattle on a project to let me know that he was breaking-up with me and that he was already in another relationship. After that call, my mobile remained switched off for months until I could get back myself together.

Today, the concerned Indian in me wondered if everything was okay with his parents, and if he finally had adopted a kid to make the wonderful home and beautiful marriage complete. I responded to his email without asking too many personal questions or sharing too many details about me.

And finally, when he shared that he had separated from his partner last summer and they will soon be going through divorce proceedings. I was in a state of disbelief and I re-read the email a few times to let his words sink in, but I was also tempted to ask who gets to keep their cat?

Do reunion experiments work?

There is a great sense of achievement when we humans fall in love with feathered and faithful creatures under the pretext of giving them a good life. But then many of us ruthlessly dump them in garbage cans and abandon them in alleys. Sadly, there is a hope for reunion and we know how that ends.

Should we try and capture the birds we set free? Does the pain of separation and abandonment linger longer in humans more than in animals? I don’t know, but we all get scarred for life. A few hours later my ex made a proposal to visit me in Paris, and I was reminded of Oprah’s failed social experiment to cement Clemantine and her separated family together. There is definitely a life beyond reunion and happy ending.

Ouvert Relationship!

In my last blog I rambled about how contexts can define sexual encounters and gave you a quick preview of welcome, workplace and break-up sex. While I was looking to continue on this topic, one of my friends asked me my thoughts on those who are trying to open up their relationships together or separately for more fun. Interesting, huh?

Men and menu are inseperable. Most gay men have half-dozen hook-up apps that offer them men(u) to satiate their cravings and fetish. Grindr is pretty much young and snobbish; Scruff is relegated to those interested in fuzz and there is good age spread, and Bear brings up mostly older men and caters to those interested in wild animals or who wish to explore wild side of human animals. So that is your 101 on the three apps that you can see on my mobile.

Men do these app-hops looking for a quick pit-stop when their partners are away or look for a buffet for two. Sometimes, it is safe to play with these people as you know that they are emotionally engaged elsewhere and not available for you. But then sometimes, when I found my hook-ups too clinging, I’ve slipped in my fetish for a ménage a trio just to free myself from their chains, and it has worked in my favor and ended the clinging.

Buffet for two

Eating at a buffet is an art. As a customer you must know what to expect, build your appetite, and sometimes you even must know how to spice it up or order differently to satisfy the palette of your partner.

Two years ago, one of the partners wrote me a message on Bear and what made me accept his proposal was his openness and honesty. He was shopping for a new experience to enjoy with his partner for V-Day and I happen to be the gift his blindfolded partner chose on the app. There was no reason for me to turn the offer down, since both were good looking, well endowed and were also into safe play. What made it even more interesting for me was to be appealing to the partner who never saw me. Yes, he was expecting to open a surprise gift. There is no problem as long as Infidelity is a level playing field and both partners understand that it is about mutual satisfaction. During the meal both of them ensured mutual fulfillment and sometimes directed me to serve the other person. And when I offered them a finger-bowl in the end, the couple convinced me to join them for a candle light dinner that night. A waiter gets tipped at a buffet? Well mannered guests, may be well satisfied too!

People don’t visit buffets until it is a steal deal or they are famished. And they may never come back for months, but sometimes they could always make a recommendation.

Dine alone

If drinking alone is sad, what would you call eating alone? Fun! Remember catching your dad sneaking behind your mom and rummaging through the refrigerator late at night? Every other proposal that I’ve receive in Paris is about finding some extra fun behind partner’s back. You would know this when they said they are available only on weekdays, until 7 pm or between 12 noon and 2pm on weekends or cannot host. Everything is transactional like prostitution and many of them refrain from sharing their coordinates and don’t want to be invited for cocktails, even if it on the house.

Among them, Marc is bold and different, but he still prefers no love-bites. After his four day sales trip, Marc stops by my apart from a quickie and demands a milk moustache every time. Not sure how he manages to build up his libido during the 30 min ride back home, but he arrives and leaves guilt-free like the fathers who make midnight trips to the refrigerator.

And when I confronted Marc with a few questions: does he play behind your back and why don’t you play together? Marc was honest and he replied that they prefer to play separately and he chooses not to know who his partner plays with and that there is a gentlemen’s agreement in place. Nevertheless, I have strict orders from Marc not to message him. Though Marc liked me a lot, he told me that he would never want to leave his partner. Though people visit restaurants, it doesn't mean that they hate home cooked meals.

Next time when you app-hop and when come across profiles with status messages that swear “open relationship”, don’t forget to ask them if it is a buffet for two or dine alone? And ask them to ring the bell and recommend if they are satisfied. Importantly, don't be offended if people claim to be single, but are paired up in reality. Customer satisfaction is our motto!

Contextual Sex ( Part 1)

Remember the first time you shagged alone or with a friend? The self and/or mutual discovery of pleasure loaded your hypothalamus with serotonin and your blood stream with endorphins. For some who were indoctrinated by elders and peers against mastrubation and/or sex wiggled in guilt post the act that limited the half life of their endorphins and serotonin. One must accept that at some point in our lives sex becomes mechanical and loses novelty; it often needs a context to make it interesting and appealing and also retain the excitement we all had during the discovery phase in our adolescence. From my personal experiences let me share five contextual sex that has helped me find pleasure.

Let's begin with Charity sex: Charity is often associated with spirituality and comes with tax exemption. Not sure if you will get any spiritual miles credited for this kind of sex, but the act of gifting someone an orgasm doubles your joy (endorphins and serotonins). The excitement and associated reward mechanism in the human brain and blood stream is the same irrespective of you whether you share some pocket change or give them a memorable sex. Sex is the oldest form of currency. Sometimes when I visit a park or a sauna and if I am in a benevolent mood I try and look for men who are old, dark complexioned, fat, bald, minority race, etc.) who are often ignored because of prejudices and preferences of the young. It gives me more pleasure to be relished by a man who not sought after and I have often seen his passion double up during the act of copulation.

How can you forget power-sex? My earliest blogs was on this topic and it gave me so much more excitement when I first slept with my professor in college. I fantasized a few of my teachers in school and I finally conquered a few in my college. I could in no way compete with him on intellectual front, but I could conquer his sexual side with my virility, servitude and seduction. It was always nice to be called into his room and sneak under his table for some snack or be spanked in private. Yes, I went beyond the books and I saw and I knew more than my fellow classmates. And every time I conquered, I felt I topped the class and graduated with a honors degree. 

Welcome sex: I have received emails, phone class and text messages asking me if I could meet their gay friends traveling to my city, show him around the city and make them feel at home. First few times I didn't have any idea that such requests were often loaded and one must be open to read more between the lines and legs. Anyone who travels into a city is anxious, curious, and also wants to take home some beautiful memories. Welcome sex is an opportunity to put your city high on their list of memorable sex in your city. It is also an opportunity to showcase your hospitality and make them feel special. So, are you ready to welcum them in your monu(men)tal city?

Workplace sex: We've often heard of stress at work and work place bully, yes, work is rarely fun. How can one get a quick relief from a stressful day, demanding deadlines and demeaning boss? Sex at workplace with colleagues could be a nice option. Last time I turned on the social hook-up app (I'm not publicizing them here) I found a few colleagues in my office. Over a few hours and days we exchanged pictures, preferences and fetishes and I could get behind the closed stalls in the toilet for a quick relief. The adrenaline rush of making out in a 5x3 public stall or back seat of my car in a parking lot gave us more pleasure and challenge - when the risk is high the reward is more! Like resting rooms, crèche for children and pets, to recreation rooms, mutually consensual sex booths should be made a perk at workplace. Sex keeps you healthy, happy and stress-free.

Break-up sex: This is very much an antonym of Charity sex. Before we make the currency of sex null and void we always want one last time to sexplore with a friend with benefits or longterm partner. We want to convince ourselves that we can find something better, emotionally and physically climb over the person. Break-up sex is the last analysis before you decide if you should break-up or go with a retainer until you find your next Plan A. Like how we create back-ups at work for business as usual, I create back-ups and Plan Bs.  The trick is to keep this a secret so that the other person doesn't end up breaking down in the bed.

While I work on Part 2 of this blog, try out some of these if you haven't already. Good luck!

The Black Mamba (Part 2)

I was among six other guys on the stretching floor waiting for the curtains to go up. Is it going to be a one-on-one game or a team sport? Every time the mamba pressed the like button on my profile I felt a drop in my pulse and experienced a new zone of excitement. On the one side, I was not willing to settle down until I got to see the face of the mamba, and on the other side, I was questioning my ability to charm this footlong creature. 

Since there were a few others in the room, I couldn't start a conversation. Finally, under the pretext of wearing my shoes, I got closer to the magician and his mamba. At an opportune moment, the suppressed mamba made a heroic appearance rising to the occasion and displaying its vigor and valor. It was not a hissing angry mamba, but a playful and joyous one waiting to be picked and caressed.

Bereft of words, I decided confirm his interest by flashing my mamba, which in comparison stood like a malnourished dwarf. Scared by its size and undecided whether to play with it or not, I left for the locker room to pick up my bag. The magician holding the tail of the mamba covering its fully aroused head followed me to the locker room. Not wanting to compete, converse or confront, I hurriedly came out of the gym, while my mind and legs was entangled in the beauty and beastliness of the mamba refusing to take the next step forward to my home. 

With our mambas taking a liking for each other, we had no choice, but to follow their desires and escort them to my house. He spent the next five minutes in my toilet getting ready for the show(off). 

On the way home, while discussing the likes of our mambas got excited. And his mamba longer than his shorts visually stimulated the passerby. I felt embarrassed to walk besides him and escort home the wild creature. Who will not get visually stimulated watching a foot long phallus longer than his work out shorts wiggling and squiggling in joy?   

It is true that tops can bottom when they see a more macho top. This is not considered as a sign of weakness or surrender, but a gesture in adoration, respect and pleasure. I sat on the floor like a whore charming the mammoth mamba with my hands, lips and tongue. Since I had not handled such a big one in 25 years of my lip service, it was daunting to begin with. 

I licked the him from the tail to head and finally popped his head inside my mouth. I was only able to fit his head in my mouth and rest of his body stood tall shinning in my dripping saliva that glistened against the evening sun on my living room couch. He stood erect accepting my lip service and collapsed in shyness when I rolled back his skin to enjoy the beauty of his head. This game of displaying power and conquering continued for next twenty minutes. And what soon followed was a mutual power play welcoming my 39 in 69! 

Unable to bear my tease the mamba commanded the magician overpower me and return the favor. We wrestled on the small couch, while blowing off each other's mamba with touch, love and care. 

I nudged mamba's smooth nuts with my nose and enjoyed the delicacy with my tongue. I took the tongue to bottom of mamba's pit and excited him with a few rounds of rimming. I fingered mamba's pit slowly with left index finger. The mamba and his pit was completely relaxed by now and they let me use two fingers now. Soon I overturned the mamba and let my little one take refuge in his pit. 

The finale was a visual spectacle. Magician's right hand played with the mamba, while the left became a cushion to my head. The mamba rose in excitement and commanded the magician pin me down. Between his legs, I helplessly watched the viswaroopa, which was both scary and entertaining. Mamba's hormones made him sway back and forth and when the magician hissed and cried in excitement I realized that he was also possessed by the mamba. From the above came a command and I opened my mouth and accepted the hot, white mamba juice with reverence. 

While the black magician washed up, the mamba coiled up for some rest before for their next show, I slowly came back to my world. To be honest, I was a little exhausted playing one-on-one with the mamba, though he confessed that he loves playing in group. My facial muscles were stretched and tired and this seemed like the best one in 25 years. Let's hope the best is yet to come. I felt proud with his visit and also acquiring a new skill: taming the beastly mamba and ready to take on more heads with joy and confidence. So, go and get your black mamba certification, if you are a novice.

The Black Mamba (Part 1)

When the undershirt is longer than the shirt, we figuratively refer to it as Sunday being longer than Monday. I had no clue what else was going to be longer when I stepped into the gym on Saturday. Since I went an hour later than my regular work time, I was certain to miss some known faces and also expected a longer hour waiting to get on treadmills and machines. But sometimes we forget to understand a delay could also mean that luck is working in our favor and bringing the unexpected. 

To motivate and push my fitness level a notch up, I usually find a machine next to or across from a good looking and/or in-shape man. And today, to my surprise I found half a dozen empty machines, unfortunately they were all out of service, and I had to settle down for a machine next to a woman. Nevertheless, sometimes you don't realize that you can also draw inspiration when you find out that you are being a motivation for a few others around you. 

On social media it is direct and easy to hit the like button, but in a gym with overflowing adrenalin and testosterone one has to be careful and discreet. Our mind and body has devised ways to speak the unspoken language and to convey our sexual interests. For ex: repeated visual assaults in the name glancing, letting our hands nudge sleeping crotches or starring at them like a kid in a candy store, flashing a friendly smile, putting out tongues and wetting the outer lip are ways to show our interest and inclination.

During the 30 mins cardio, my mind was busy playing inky pinky ponky trying to choose between legs and laterals for today's work out. I quickly settled down for legs since there were a few good possibilities lurking in the vicinity. Choices in life come to a quick-end when good looking men are around. Since it was the weekend, I was in no hurry and didn't worry about finishing my work out within 75mins. Stretching it longer is one way of prolonging pleasure and there is nothing like working on legs and stretching the in between.

Though a few possibilities kept starring back at me, I didn't want to game to selection to end fast and pushed my luck to the stretching floor. Everyday the deer has to run faster than its fastest running predator to survive. While I was entering the gym that morning I had spotted a white athletic male in upper thirties and I saw him now on the stretching floor working out with a black man who had a fabulous body with almost zero percent fat.

Lying across from them, I was working on my lower abs and displayed a few yoga posture to entice the Caucasian male who seemed elusive. Not sure why I have never cultivated a taste for black cocks in my 25 years of sexual jubilation though I have heard footlong stories about them. Was it because I was scared of approaching them or afraid they might be carrying bugs? Lack of interest and experience with kept my focus on the white male. Realizing my indifference and lack of interest the black male started to cast his magical spell on me. 

As he stood up to have his arms stretched, I noticed something between his legs making a shy appearance. How can anyone ignore a footlong black mamba longer than his shorts wiggling and waiting to set itself free? When I looked around everyone's eyes (men and women) in the room were riveted on one object/subject of pleasure and excitement and was stay put trying to catch a glimpse of it without being noticed. Even the straight ones were caught in a dilemma trying to decide on their sexuality. That is the power of black magic! Come back next week to read details of taming the hissing black mamba!

Forgiveness Without Confession?

Forgiveness is last act in the process of realizing and owning up a mistake or a crime and sincerely seeking atonement. And it is purely the volition of the other party to offer clemency or punish. 

I met someone from my past yesterday and neither of us expected to come face-to-face with each other. Not sure if he remembers the incident and considers what he did to me at age of 3 as a heinous crime. My memory travels back to 1978. I remember him as a athletic, tall, dark and my mother had engaged him as a male nanny to take care of me and my two siblings.

I was a helpless three year old infant then and I remember only one instance of violation. He took me to the terrace and shoved his dark, uncut, and big phallus into my mouth. I had no clue what was being done to me until a few years ago, when I read articles in newspapers talking about adults entrusted with responsibility to care and protect violating innocence of children - child sexual abuse. 

At the age of five we all moved from country side to the city to start our schooling and my mother brought him along with us and got him a job in the city. Don't know why we never saw him and why he never came up in our conversations; but now life (read as karma) was doing a full circle reminding us of the incident and bringing us face-to-face. 

We had a prayer gathering yesterday morning and a group of men and women had come home to do the chants. One of the men in the group wanted to know more about our ancestry and while I was sharing the details, a woman in the group was keenly making a note what I said. Half hour after lunch she came back with her husband who introduced himself as the nanny who looked after us 35 years ago.

I never expected to see him again in my life because there was nothing to be resolved at my end. Was it his wife's prayer that got him to my place or was it his karma from the past that was pushing him towards resolving and absolving it? Is it his pay day?

He stormed into the house with excitement and called out our names to validate if it is the same family. Not sure if he was expecting us to come running towards him, but I lowered the newspaper, looked at him with a surprise and acknowledged his call. He introduced himself and reminded me about his nanny role, while I recollected what he did to me.

I quickly compared him now and then; his physical appearance had changed so much over three decades, but the skin color was still unchanged. Now, he wore a spectacle, colored his grey hair black and also sported a big tummy. May be after effects of marriage, responsibility of educating two girls and driving around a city bus and caring for passengers in it and for people on the road? How about including guilt from abusing me as a child? 

Refusing to sit besides me, he reminiscenced my childhood days and pranks standing a feet away from me. I was not expecting him narrate "that incident" but he kept asking why I was not married and not taking the genetic legacy forward. Had I got an opportunity to speak to him in private, I would have told him I am gay (without blaming him for it) and definitely would have reminded him of the incident and asked him for an explanation for his behavior then. I would have also asked him if he was a serial offender or was it just me?

Fortunately, unlike many other child abuse victims who carry anger, a sense of violation, low self esteem, and a deep scar, I had no trace of any such emotions in me except graphical memories of the incident in black and white. I understand that homosexuality is genetically imprinted and not a result of child abuse, and I don't blame him for my sexuality/single hood. 

Did he walk into my house to confess, express his remorse and seek forgiveness? No! Though karma was giving him an opportunity to confess, seek forgiveness and get rid of his guilt, he had not reached the point yet. Let's not forget that one's own conscience has the power to conduct a fair trial, judge and punish the sinned soul. 

Though I would like to volunteer when it comes forgiveness, I had done that to both my ex's in the past; I didn't notice any signs of regret, guilt, or intention to seek forgiveness in the 55 year old man. Also the 3 year old in me is not willing to offer forgiveness, without a confession! For now, the judgement is adjourned...

Love bite: Physical or emotional?

Finding love is like getting a seat on the metro. And to find a seat you have to board the metro early enough or someone's journey has to end and you must be next to that person to take their vacated seat. No one can deny that love is both a game of chance and game of survival. It is a game of beginning and end with some overlapping travel time. Yes, one waits ahead of the other in atleast one leg of the journey. But everyone's journey comes to an end!

I experienced lust before love, to be mathematically precise (lag variable) there was a 15 year delay between them. Hope I'm not making it sound like a drought. After two relationships, when I question the very existence of love, it makes a cameo appearance and reminds me of its existence. Not sure if I classified it rightly, but I kept asking myself is it love or love bite? Isn't it human nature to analyze, assay, and seek proofs and validations?

It was definitely not a typical morning after feeling. I slowly and silently get out of bed ahead of him, brush my teeth and close the kitchen door and busy making coffee and packing my lunch. He must have entered while my back was facing the door and the turntable in the microwave was busy heating a mug of milk and the motor was humming. What he did was almost like a scene out of a movie. 

From the behind he wrapped his arms around me and the warm air from his lungs invaded my neck and not wasting the opportunity I quickly kept the lunch box and grabbed his hand and planted a beautiful kiss on his hands. Like a breakfast pan cake, I flipped him around and spotted his hot sausage making a morning salut. I kissed him on his cheeks and I pushed him towards the bathroom to brush his teeth, while I showed him the hot mug of coffee.

"I wanted to watch you and spend time with you" responded the 24 year old when I asked him why he got out of the bed so early. I felt his response endearing and my hand with the mug of coffee began to tremble upon hearing the unexpected response. I asked myself, " what did I do this man and is he smitten?"

I have brought home a few Parisian, and only 2 of them have stayed back for the night. This is the third time he came home and the first time he stayed over. But on his second visit he told me that he would like to sleep besides me for a night. Not having slept next to a man in the last three years, I was not sure of the experience, but he was persistent. And that night he smothered me with kisses and warmed me with hugs. And during our coffee and conversation the next morning he even apologized for disturbing me the previous night with his kisses and hugs. I confessed to him that I was getting used to a man next to me in bed and that he needn't be sorry and I perfectly enjoyed being the recipient. 

I have made him dinner on all three occasions and as my friend says it is my "fuck and feed" philosophy. But don't many of us feel hungry after sex? While cooking that night I asked him what excuse did he come up with to spend the night away from home. He smiled and said it was the clichéd friend's birthday. 

After dinner we didn't have fight over the TV remote, while he was watching French television in the living room, I was watching an episode of Indian sitcom on my iPad. He must be after half hour, he came into the room to check on me. Seeing me curled up in the bed, he planted a kiss on my cheek and found a comfortable spot for him in my blanket. Should I call him an intruder or a house cat? 

Though I have been mostly attracted to older men (for reasons of emotional maturity and experience), my two earlier exs' were younger than me. And this young man exhibited maturity and care in our conversation and intimate moments. Never did he utter the word love, but had his on way of expressing himself that made me ask - is this love? Is he in love?

And when I opened the closet to pick out the shirt, he sat up in the bed, his pupils dilated and he confessed his fetish for men in formals. He picked up his mobile and took a few pictures while I was dressing up. How could I go to work with so much of love in air? 

I sat on the bed besides him and planted a few more kisses and even check out the love bite I gave him the previous evening. I asked him to get back into the bed and sleep for a little longer. 

That evening I came home to an empty apartment and something was missing in the air. Not sure what it is, I opened the windows and I went straight into the bed room. I lay down on the bed he had made and picked up blanket and pillow to get a whiff of him. Something that was there last evening was missing now. With memories stirring up my thoughts, I texted to check on him. He immediately responded saying that said he was back home and that his mother spotted the love bite on his neck and curious to know more about it, but he remained elusive. And I promptly apologized for the embarrassment, but said he was proud to sport a love bite.

Ten years after my first love, I realized how people could come over for an evening and leave you with an emotional love bite that may never physically manifest, while I had expressed my love physically through a bite, his love came through as an emotional bit. Love, bites....

Infidelity: a level playing field? (Part 2)

The hairy chest on the Lebanese and the ribbed abs on the Spanish spiced up my hormones that night. I took turns to hold their soft butts and circled their hard nipples with the tip of my tongue and periodically nibbled on them to give them extra pleasure. While I was busy playing with one, the other rolled his tongue behind my neck and before I realized he took a free-fall and went down my ass and trying to cultivate some sensory nerves there. Their cleanliness and safe play rules made me reciprocate their gestures without any inhibition.

Accommodative, not avarice!

Their mouth were as wide as their views and perspectives on life and they often disproved the popular saying “don’t put more than what you can chew”. Not sure if it is a biological bonus (like the sixth finger) or an acquired skill, but their mouths were able to double-time without tiring their jaw bones or lips losing their elasticity. May be this is the next step in evolution from Homo erectus to Homo sapiens.

And after a few tries, I picked up the skill and realized how one needed to be accommodative and not avarice to taste multiple (like sweet and sour, salt and pepper), dry and wet, shapes and sizes (Laurel and Hardy) in one go.

This couple seemed to be very different in a world where selfishness and personal pleasure was the norm. And sometimes they both even demonstrated and taught me a few tricks to save it for my next encounter. From time to time, the Lebanese partner would nudge and direct me to do things that would pleasure his partner.

G-spot!

After having carefully loved each other’s lips, necks, ear lobes, armpits, torsos, feet, and phalluses, the finale was awaited with both pleasure and curiosity. And the bedside table had all the safety gear needed for the finale. And when I confirmed that I only topped, the ceremonial suit was put around my dick, saliva smeared (victory teeka) on it and slowly launched from a comfortable position to explore his g-spot. Words of pleasure and celebration blossomed on his lips and to keep it wet and busy his partner shoved his phallus into his mouth. We even changed places on the see-saw to experience each other’s the greener pastures. It must have been a visual treat to watch the penetration and trickling sweat on our bodies and an aural treat to hear the noise created (flesh, sweat and vacuum) from my quadriceps pounding his gluteus maximus. My mind tried to capture as much as it could and excited by the visual and aural treat, the other partner lubed his finger in my mouth and stuck it in my ass and started to stimulate my prostrate. This was the first time I ever let someone stimulate my prostrate and I must tell you that I experienced the Zero-gravity and lost control over my lower limbs. The Spanish guy with the big asset bottomed for me and the Lebanese partner with an average one, ensured it was a level ploughing field, and bottomed for his Spanish partner.

Tapas and Hummus

That night I felt like I was on the Mediterranean Sea between Spain and Lebanon tasting Tapas and Hummus. I was still hard after I climaxed and what kept my dick up was the hot action between the couple. Like a curious scientist, I brought a candle inside the dark room and I saw the one of the couple holding his legs up in the air and other penetrating him while sitting on his knees. It was like watching a lion and tiger mate with passion, ferocity and I put the candle aside and played my part my lending my dick to keep the lion from growling.

Soon after the sex, the three of us got into a shower and continued to wash each other and bond further. Sitting naked on their couch, we three exchanged some pleasant conversation and hook up stories. Believe it or not, I drank 3 liters of water that night and fell asleep in minutes after hitting the bed.

Stop reading now!

By playing with them that night, I learnt how infidelity ceases to exist when it is all inclusive and together and the real meaning of the phrase “a level playing field”. If you are single, find a couple and make your own experience and if you are couple play together, kill guilt, explore newer meanings to your relationship, and master the art of keeping of fresh, healthy and evergreen. But always remember to play safe.