Alexa, Quelle est la pensée Richy?

If you are still single at my age (late 30s to early 40s) getting laid is relatively simple and a realistic ambition easily satisfied by Grindr, Scruff, etc. But if you are looking to find a partner then it can turn out to be a tricky and tough search. The 20 and 30 year olds prefer boys of their age, while those around my age are either settled or still hoping to catch a younger rainbow or may have given up on their search; simply not looking and not interested.

Living my 20s away from home getting educated, spending my 30s back with my family and attending to their needs, and now at the start of my 40 I have a burning desire to settle down with my man. Despite two failed attempts: one in my late-twenties and other in my mid-thirties, I am still optimistic with caution. 

On one of my trips more than three years ago to Paris, I met someone interesting. We connected and stayed in touch after I went back and six months later my work moved me to Paris. I felt my prayers were heard and that I was getting an opportunity to live in with someone again. But a week before I got here my hope came crashing when he told that he was not living with a roommate, but it was his partner for 18 years and they were getting ready to split up and move out. 

As much as I wanted him, I wanted him to have a clean break and some cooling time before we started seeing. I put out the relationship flame immediately and two and half years later, we ended up being good friends after an initial period of silence. He continues to live with his partner and is in the look out for an apartment to move out on his own. Secrets and living in with a partner and calling him a roommate are both dangerous. 

As a result of being single for the last three years and optimistic, every time when I come across eligible, available, smart and single men, my heart mildly fibrillates in hope and not in desperation. I ask myself what do I need to do to get this man? I don't ask this in a consumeristic way, but as individual yearning to know the person, work hard to prove my worthiness and eventually have him end by single hood. Isn't that a reasonable desire with commitment to work hard? 

I didn't go to Ptown with an ambition to find somebody, but he seemed special among group in the resort. It was definitely not love at first sight, but I cannot deny the attraction. The time we spent discovering the city, going on shopping trips and dancing together helped us slowly discover our personalities, interests and answer other questions we had on our mind about each other.

The walks, shopping trips and tea dance we did together during the next two days helped us discover our personalities. And when he told me that he was going back for a few days, my heart sank, but came back up like a buoy when he announced that would he back in Boatslip in the middle of the week and in time for the carnival. 

The three days when he was away felt like weeks apart and we texted back and forth to convey our feelings from being apart and our eagerness to meet soon. He is funny, intellectual, and very much my type and age: checking all my boxes, but does it mean that he is available and looking? And I was in the U.S. and in Ptown on vacation, so does this mean that it is going to be a fling or a summer romance set in Ptown?

I had no idea what was running on his mind, but I gave myself the freedom to enjoy the newly discovered and fresh love that was coming my way after a three year self-imposed hiatus. Before we both realized, the mutual attraction pushed the boundaries of intimacy: spending our time together, from taking showers, hanging out to sleeping at night together. One of my friends even commented that we were now staring to behave like lesbians and an engagement ring and U Haul truck wasn't far away.

The five days of courting and hanging out together from dawn until dusk convinced us of our attraction, but will it sustain a week-long separation was the question. I woke up early on that morning and found Rich's arms around me, that was definitely a sign of endearment. Don't you agree? I slowly extricated myself while he was still asleep and left a pillow in my place. But it was not long before Richy texted me asking where I was and soon joined me at the breakfast table near the lobby. At the breakfast table we shared our stories of life that reinforced the foundation of trust and explained our expectations.

Later that morning, he came all all the way to see me off at the ferry point to Boston. Had I known that I was going to meet someone as charming and affectionate as Richy, I would have not booked my tickets to visit my friends in the Mid-west, who would only be happy for me. But nevertheless, I went ahead with my trip and promised to stay in touch through messages, pictures and blogs. The one-week apart also gave us time to calm down our hormones and pragmatically reassess our feelings. Is forty the new twenty? 

And when I came back after a week, he was at Boston airport waiting to pick me up like a devoted partner. He re-established his love with a kiss on my lips and his right hand was holding my left hand while he steered his Volkswagen Rabbit for the next hour before it came to a halt at a restaurant in his neighborhood. A light meal concluded with a water melon mojito sorbet and mangue ananas creme brûlée became an appetizer for what we ended up serving each other in bed.

I came back to this city after a gap of 12 years, while my prospective boyfriend from then was already paired up and happily settled. There was no comparison, unhappiness or peer pressure, but will Richy put an end to my perpetual bachelor hood for eternity?

That night I spooned to my left side so that Richy could hold me from behind; his touch was firm in a loving way. We slept peacefully after our union and Richy was asleep before I could close my eyes. We exchanged a dozen kisses before we got out of bed the next morning. As we stepped out of the room, he summoned Alexa, Amanzon's Echo to play wake up music. 

He quickly brushed and joined me in the shower and while we soaped each other we firmed up the plans for the day like a married couple. Before we left home he again summoned Alexa like a genie asking her for an update on weather. And without Alexa's help we checked on each other a few times during the day before I drove back to pick him up in the evening.

Our pact was to leave behind all that happened in Ptown back there, but what about things in Providence. It sounded surreal and like a fairytale to me. But how about him? What is running in his mind? If it was meant to be short lived why did his mind not turn into a wary wife leaving no chambre pour la bon moment et l'magnifique memoir du l'affaire? 

 

But why didn't the wife not intervene when we created memories in our shower, bed room and funny stories with Alexa? How about our shopping trips and romantic dinners or when I picked him up from work. Was she okay with this arrangement? Did she know it was going to be a short-lived summer novel set in Ptown or was she building our future together beginning in Providence? 

Finally, the wife came out when I gave him a thank you card appreciating his kindness and care. I thought she was going to let him display it on the counter next to the kitchen sink, but instead she made him leave the card aside like other old magazines in his living room. Are these cards like the many pairs shoes that filled his living room and closet at the entrance? 

Alexa knew the climate, but does she know the climax? Alexa, what do I decipher from this? Will Richy end my single hood? Does he have secrets like my French friend? Could you please find out his feelings and share them with me? Unfortunately, I found out while driving to the airport that Alexa doesn't work outside of the U.S. and I would have to get back to the U.S. to get her response. 

The Gay Pilgrimage

You could be participating in a quiz show and posed with a tricky million dollar question to name the city popularly referred to as the Gay pilgrimage. You have four choices to pick from: Las Vegas, San Francisco, Miami, Province Town. Are you ready to make the million dollar pick? While you ponder over the winning answer, let me give you a visual and verbal tour of this dream destination.

 

Visitors come to this city for a variety of reasons, filled with desires, dreams, and some come filled with curiosity to get under the skin of the city and in the sheets of people. Don't be scared yet! This beautiful ocean town with coastline on either side makes you wonder if this land was created by nature for the GLBTQ community. But way before these guys arrived the Pilgrims got here in the 17th century and A tall tower (a phallic symbol?) commemorating their landing at the centre of the city is visible from miles away. 

This coastline is home to huge mammals and humans. Did I say bears? :) This city doesn't distinguish or discriminate based on gender, race or sexual preference and gives everyone a space to share and care. When nature welcomes can there be an opportunity for discrimination?

Be it summer or winter this town hosts events and weeks to celebrate our likes and preferences: lesbian week, bear week, gay week, leather week, etc. And it also inspires straight people afraid of homosexuality to shed their prejudices and inhibitions and pick-up cupid's arrow to spread the message of love and peaceful coexistence. 

The Disneyland for LGBTQ

If you are from the LGBTQ community you don't have to be worried or threatened about letting your hair down or just being your silly and happy self. You can French kiss in the middle of the street, hold hands your partner hands, feel his/her ass in public, dress up in fancy costumes and express your libido, sexuality and creativity. Though same sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states in the U.S. this kind of freedom and independence to openly demonstrate ones love and affection in public is yet to spread across the nation. 

Many of the businesses in town are both owned and served by LGBTQ community and when you are addressed as honey, sweet heart, darling, etc. you feel inclusive, welcomed and loved. The stores here also offer a great variety of clothing to pick and choose from and sales are held during carnival time (usually third weekend in August) makes you look pretty without damaging your wallet. You will find some the best clothes and costumes to disarm the homophobic society of their prejudice. So, why spend your pink dollars elsewhere?

Beaches, Islands and Cuisine

You can swim in the waters of Atlantic and also catch the warm August sun to sport a gregous tan. A bicycle ride to the nude beaches: Long Point and Herring Cove offers a good cardio work out, while giving some an opportunity to show off their great bodies making many hearts skip a beat.

If you are in a mood to explore the ocean and its marine life then get on a trip to see the three exotic species: Minke, Humpback, and Fin whales that can turn you both into an ambassador for conservation and admirer of marine life for eternity. And, If you want to explore the nearby islands to south of the town, a quick ferry ride will make your feel Christopher Columbus. 

The exploration of the ocean and the islands may take you on a salivation trip with its fresh oysters, scallops, muscles, calamaris, clams, and cod fish (fruits de mer). And if you like them in a certain way then there are cuisines from around the world (Caribbean, Indian, Asian, etc.) that tingle your taste buds and make them taste even more exotic with their species and culinary techniques. For health freaks and weight-watchers there are also juice and smoothie bars to make you feel refreshed and fabulous. 

Clubs and Cubs 

Every culture has its Bollywood equivalent: from plays to musical shows to bars this town is self contained. Clubs like Shipwreck, Waves, Crown and A House offer peppy music and spacious dance floors, while piano bars and karaoke clubs provide a platform to showcase musical talents thereby extending your happiness until the wee hours of the morning. 

There is so much love in air that it can leave you intoxicated quickly. Don't be surprised if you hear a passerby asking you and your partner to take a room rather than making out in quiet and dark alleys or car parks. Leather and Macho bars also provide good venues for intoxication and naughtiness. For Cubs in search of Bears, dick dock (below the main deck at Boatslip) offers a play ground to get wild and wet at late night. Where you do it, always remember to play safe. 

The Best Show in town

The best show in the town is free and comes alive on the Carnival day every year. Curious visitors and public start to book their vantage spots on the side walk on Commercial Street since morning, while participants book their hotel rooms a year in advance to be bring color and creativity to the carnival. 

At the end of year carnival the next theme for the next year's carnival is announced. If the 2014 carnival brought alive Superheros like Batman, Spider-Man, Superman, etc. to life the 2015 rained candies turning the place into a candy land. A lot of effort and imagination goes into planning and preparing costumes which has the magical power to cure the straight world of their prejudices and inspire the queers to be proud of their innate gift. 

The D-day

The 2-hour parade that begins at around at 3pm from eastern end of the city traverses through Commercial Street before terminating at the western end. Like every parade, there is plenty of music, distribution of freebies, and thoughtful product placements and advertising and marketing. And surprisingly some who come to watch the parade also get inspired and sport costumes, dress up their pets adding more color and energy to the carnival thereby spreading the message of love and togetherness.

The parade culminates at Boatslip Resort where all participants meet, mingle, and network expressing their camaraderie. For those who still have energy to expend, can go to dance floor at Boatslip (referred to Tea Dance) and shake their muscles and bones to tunes. 

By the next morning the streets littered with candies, confetti and pamphlets from the carnival are cleaned up and normalcy returns to the town. Friends who came together for the carnival make a pact to return the following year before dispersing their way. New lovers who came together at the carnival from different cities depart with heavy heart and fond memories, and the lustful ones go in search of newer venues. 

So, did you figure out the million dollar answer yet? 

Pilgrimage: A Cure for Ignorance

Take a pilgrimage to Provincetown and experience the cape and its colorful carnival and get cured of your ignorance. For many in the LGBTQ community this experience feels like a second birth. It cures them of their fears and phobias and leaves them invigorated. But, what about the straight ones and their children? The carnival and the town can cure them of their homophobia and also educate and sensitize their children to same sex love to end discrimination and create an inclusive world. 

Only if you make it to the carnival and P-Town you will realize what the world would look like without LGBTQ community: colorless, pale, unidimensional, listless, and devoid of beauty. Make a resolve to come to Provincetown, enjoy the carnival, make new friends, feel like a million dollar, and spread the positive energy to create many more such inclusive towns, societies and carnivals around the world.