Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Sex: Recreation vs Procreation



As gays we look at sex as an act of recreation than procreation. We’ve all experience many one night stands, kinks, hidden sexual agenda, our happy endings are sometimes sad and finally we also clean, fill and flit (if not in the same order). Have you ever wondered where did we pick up these traits from?

Don’t forget we‘ve all come a long way from the animal kingdom and evolution has brought us to another kingdom where rules of the game are every different. And our shared past often makes us look at the animal kingdom to see if there is a leaf or two to borrow. Let’s see if sex becomes easier handled as an act of recreation rather than an act of procreation?

Sex is a currency:
Sexual currency is often traded in primate kingdom for social purposes. Isn’t that very similar to the gay world? It is used to buy security, peace, happiness and avoid conflicts. Absolutely there is no procreational purpose for some copulations.

Coming back to the land of primates, louder the female call the more excited males become. Noisy females ensure best genes are transferred to the next generation. The chance of a less-noisy female getting pregnant is low. Absence of noise can also mean the copulation was for social purpose more than procreation. So do filled vessels that make more noise in the primate world?

One night stand:
Female German Roaches mate just once, stock up sperm and lay eggs when they want rather than looking around for mates. Save up for the rainy days, huh? How interesting it should be to just mate once and say good-bye! Though sex is procreational, among roaches there is no emotional attachment. It is a no-strings attached copulation. Now you know where we learnt our one night stands from!

Chastity lock:
Among Stick insects, males copulate and stick to the females (chastity lock) to prevent other males from mating, until she gets to lay her eggs. Now you know how Italian cities, including Florence, Milan, Rome, and Venice came up with the concept of chastity lock in the 12-13 century!

Some happy endings are really sad!
Among Lady bugs, mating happens just once and the male bug dies at the end of act. It appears as though their birth objective is to mate and die. The female drags the dead male around and dumps him before laying her eggs. I am so happy to be alive and gay!

Mafia queens are born to kill male bees!
Among honey bees, male bees get into a bull fight to mate with the only queen bee. A successful male that gets to mate with the Queen bee often dies because its penis gets stuck and eventually the bee dies trying to free itself. The queen bee uses other males (lots of Plan B) to free herself from the broken penis and give another guy a chance for her to procreate. As gays we practice polygamous (monogamous) behavior without causing any death! Looking at life-cycle of insects, it appears like sex for procreation is more risky than recreation.

Clean, fill and flit:
Among Dragon flies, the male uses two brushes next to their penis to remove solidified sperm inside the female organ, from earlier copulation and ensuring their gene goes to the next generation. Should you admire their sense of hygiene or their objective to leave their gene pool behind? You have some hygiene lessons to learn from these insects!

The nature’s way of ensuring the planet is peaceful and there is no procreation agenda (in already over-crowded planet) is by creating gays. Remember we have a purpose and a contribution to make and we are not nature’s anomalies. The sole objective of any form of life born on earth is to procreate and in the animal kingdom it all happens without any wed-lock or commitment. So now you know where from we learnt our one-night stands, live-ins, kinks, hidden sexual agendas, chastity lock, and no-strings attached relationships, etc? But where did we take leaf of marriage from? Keep researching….

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Pick-up line and 4th S!


A Pick-up line on the way to the boarding line

A little peep over the porcelain divider between us was enough to let him know my interest and orientation. He caught my eyes and returned the courtesy by watching my brave warrior. Here in Mumbai airport we were showcasing each other’s priced possession like kids. After the little exhibition we indulged in a casual conversation understand our backgrounds, personal and profession life and qualify our needs before we exchanged our numbers. The boarding call for Delhi flight separated us and the Peddar Road peda goes his way. He boards his flight and calls to let me know he got upgraded and I was his lucky charm! Even if it was a pick-up line, I felt it was fresh and made me feel good. Let’s see if the pick-up line gets an upgrade!

The 4th S: Shagg!

People enter restrooms in airports and train stations to Shit, Shave and Shower, but how about the 4th S?
He found a seat across from Mens room ready to stare at all emptied crotches that came out. His shades buried not just lust laden eyes but his face, and he looked at me as I walked out of the Mens room. There was no beating around the bush.  He asked me if I liked him, we made a conversation, he shut his laptop and now he wanted me to flash my drive.

We went back to the same place, but we couldn’t go beyond looking, feeling and touching. We came out of the loo and he says, “where were you hiding all this while (a cheesy one!)” and this milk Khoa insisted I change my flight and come with him to Goa! He said it would be a shame if we didn’t sleep together.Oh that was indeed Samantha from SF!
If only some be(ginn)ings had no itineraries, passports and boarding cards, and if only our bodies could fly like our hearts, our horniness would be termed as hunger and none would be called a Samantha!

So next time you are in an airport loo watch out for the 4th S and and pick-up lines (Lions? Loins?).