Mallu Macaroons

A chat screen for somewhere opened up and within the next 5 minutes I was on IRCTC web looking at various train options and various classes to travel to Thrissur Pooram. It doesn’t hurt to share your dreams, desires and travel plans with your friends and colleagues because you don’t know who will remind you and push you to your dream “destination”. And also may be it also doesn’t hurt to be single because you are able to plan your journey and book your tickets in 5 mins. Thanks Seema!

Onward and return tickets were waitlisted and in the meantime I started scouting for accommodation. It is not easy to get accommodation in Thrissur during Pooram and hotel rooms go upto to Rs 10,000 per night. A colleague of mine promised to help me with accommodation, but 5 days before the travel date she ditched me! By then hotel rooms were almost sold out and those that were available were unreasonably priced. I was losing hope with waitlisted ticket and with no accommodation. I spoke to a few friends, but had no option but to be imposing and be shameless. Atlast a good friend of mine from Thrissur invited me to stay at her place and another helped me get my tickets confirmed.

I was excited about the trip that I took the day off from work just to pack and get ready for the travel. I must say the excitement also made me decide to go commando. I reached the station an hour before the departure and the platform was empty. I stood at the entrance to the platform and started scanning every piece of baggage that was arriving to board the “Alleppey Express”. I felt everyone who was on this train to God’s own country was headed to Thrissur for Pooram festival. Well does that make them gay or does that give me a reason to hit on them? But there is nothing wrong with roving eyes and hoping heart? Right?

I always arrive an hour before the train just to scan passengers/co-passengers and if you are lucky you can find berth mates. Finally the empty bogies were paraded into the station, lights were turned on and doors were thrown open to the crowd to board. I found a safe spot for my baggage and came out to catch the fresh breeze that was coming towards the train to Kerala.

Infact I thought of scanning other air-conditioned bogies to see the spread of the menu before I decide on my main course, but I decided to keep that for later, I had 9 hours of journey ahead of me to inspect goods on their way to God’s own country. I am sure God will just be fine because I was just ensuring that there are enough good ones are sent to his country. And I also wanted them reach their destination fresh and fine.

When I looked at him the first time I lost track of the next few minutes. He was hot, handsome, hairy and his lips were as pink as a new born. Should I say he was like “Arvind Swamy” in his early twenties? He was running around like mouse and I looked at him like a Lion. There is no use in hunting a prey until you are really hungry and sometimes the mouse can be recreation too. I brought back my attention to the names on the chart pasted on the side of the bogie. There was a sense of excitement and I felt like I was looking at the menu card. It was Koshys’, Georges’, Mathews, Jacobs and Shibus of the world. But who is for breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, snack with tea or just as desert post the meal. It was like walking into the vegetable market and you always pass the first few displays with the hope the better stuff is waiting inside. I couldn’t make my mind which one was better. Is it a sign of greediness or a sign of prudence?

I scanned their ages and a put together a must see list in my mind. Yes, those were Mallu macaroons! I waited by the side of the bogie for the Ks,Gs, Ms,Js and Ss of the world to arrive. Cant I get cozy with the Koshys? I was dripping wet, not sure if it was the weather or the names and ages on the chart. Some walked with laptop bags, some were in a group, while came with their wife and kids. I asked myself why good looking men end their life with woman? And it was terrible to see them carry a child and half dozen bags on them. Isn’t that suicidal?

Finally the Deccan Queen with Mallu bloodline crossed Alleppey Express at Chennai Central. My man was back with no luck after chasing the TTE for a berth. He was waitlisted 17 but was determined to board the train. If he was not determined to travel, I was determined to call off the journey and go home with him. There was a big grin after a long hesitation and then he asked me if I was a native of Kerala. Can’t men outside of Kerala can be hot and happening? He appreciated my bald and clean shaven look and at that point of time I didn’t want to lose the golden opportunity to put my paws on the mouse’s tail to show my interest. Remember I going commando that night, and it was difficult to keep my little brother from getting excited.

“We both have desires to quench. You want to touch my head and I want to touch yours, and you don’t have a confirmed berth, why not we share the same berth and desires for the nite? In the meantime we exchanged numbers and I saw the guard waving the green light. He smiled and I reminded him my berth B1, 19 and stepped into the coach. He boarded one of the ordinary coaches in the rear.

So close yet so far. We were in the same train headed to the same destination, but our destinies seemed so far. I was secretly nursing this hope that this man of a 3 year child would come back with this back pack. I got into the train and waited for the TTE to examine my ticket before I start to survey my hunting ground and species. Survey was one way to make my plan A, plan B and plan C and the backup was always self service (apna haath jagannath).

I pulled out my mobile and sms’ed a few of my friends to proudly announce my catch at the railway station. My fag hag was totally surprised at my behavior, agility and swiftness. Already? In response to her sms I wrote to her, “If I were straight you would be mother of a few now”, while she responded, “ Hey Mr. I would have made you a proud grandfather by now”.

Will the dacoit ransack the Deccan Queen or will the Queen get coital with dacoit or will she ditch the dacoit?

I messaged him a few times to make sure he didn’t have a confirmed berth in the regular compartment. I had no clue if my messages reached him. I tried calling him, while Airtel network was constantly out of reach. Mobile network was playing a villain between us. It took a little over an hour for the train to reach Katpadi and finally when he arrived my sword instantly went up. Well isn’t this how Knights salute the Queen?

He flashed a big smile, I held his bag, put my arms around him and help him board the coach and next thing I remember was the shrill cries of the Chaiwala. I looked at the mobile and it was 5 past 6. I put my hand out and noticed that the berth had more room than last nite. He had already got down at his destination. I checked for my wallet and I found a small note along with my wallet. Before I opened the note I re-winded the time together last nite. There was lot of play, laugh and some talk.

The note read....

To the man who hunted me down and shunted me like an empty bogie,
Thanks to IRCTC for the waitlisted ticket. I never knew a stranger can offer to share his berth with me. It felt weird, but it was heavenly. Do you expect me to say that it felt better than my nuptial night? Can we travel together in the journey of life? You look beautiful even when you were asleep. Call me when you wake up and let me know how I can get rid of the hickies before I reach Hyderabad on Sunday?

Yours
Bitten and smitten waitlisted ticket

I called him the next second, we spoke for an hour. I told him how this journey was instigated by Mallu (my colleague), train confirmed by another Mallu (friend), accommodation arranged by another Mallu (friend) and finally my happening night with the Mallu from Hyderabad. I heard his laugh and the train slowly pulled into Thrissur station. I invited him to join me for the festival.

Was this a precursor or curtain raiser to more action over the next two days?
Did he join me? Come back for more on Mallu Macaroons!