Sometimes we see through people and their behaviours, and hypocrisy and at last my observations and words crystallised into a blog.
The matters of the heart and mind are common across genders and sexuality. I have been observing behaviours of some queer men and some among them who self-identify and self-proclaim as feminists and lecture cis-het men on how to behave with women.
Sadly, these men behave the same way straight men behave towards women. Isn’t this outright hypocrisy and is worse than being a homophobe, biphobe and transphobe?
Based on my observations and experiences, I have compiled the below pointers that are gender and sexuality neutral.
- Consent first: Just because someone is single and your type, don’t assume they are available and interested in you.
- No stalking: There is nothing wrong in expressing your interest but be direct and stop flirting or stalking - it’s uncomfortable to many.
- No baiting: Stop voluntarily sending them your shirtless pictures or nudes and asking for theirs. Such solicitations are cheap.
- Don’t mislead: Physical intimacy is the highest form of emotional intimacy. While you may be looking for a fling, they may be up for something serious. So, discuss and agree and don’t mislead, cheat or harass.
- Zip up: If your offer gets turned down or it didn’t go the way you wanted it to, learn to accept and do not go around slut shaming or bad mouthing them.
- No ghosting: After leading on people, if you decide to make a U-turn, explain your decision and don’t be a living ghost.
- Respect boundaries: Just because you both know a few people don’t ask or assume if they’ve slept with them. This is none of your business and it shows the shape of your brain or the lack of it.
The society needs conscience keepers and brave hearts who will hold up mirrors to queer chameleons, and tear each other’s activist and saviour face masks. So, let’s keep our conscience, lust, sanity, and ego in check.
