High and dry plus itchy

A few anxious people wrote to me during the week asking if I were Ram or Jason. There have been moments where I’ve had my Jason and Ram moments. But in this context I was neither and one needed learn the safe and hygienic aspects while at play rather than trying to find if it was me. Those who wrote me were also curious to know if anything more happened between them after Jason stepped out of the toilet. Did Jason leave Ram with love bites or did he entrust that job with someone? Come on let’s find out.

Not sure how many of you have watched Sex and the city. In one of the episodes (I think it is season Two) Miranda would call a list people she had sex with to trace who she contracted the bug from. Calling a list of people to find out who gave the bug or prevention before cure, what is more easy vs. embarrassing? Atleast, Miranda had a list to call, but many of us (me included) may not be that meticulous to maintain a hook-up list !

That day after the lousy sex, Ram left Jason’s den with disappointment. A lot of what Ram wanted and expected had not happened between them and moreover, many things between them were one-sided, including the love making session. In all, Jason left Ram high and dry plus itchy.

 

Bookie vs. Hookie
Players in the current IPL season used all kinds of signaling techniques from moving the wrist band to dropping their hand towel to communicate with the bookies. But long before IPL arrived, gay men mastered various signaling techniques to express their sexual interests to the hookies (rather hookups). And today, I found Ram scratching (digging should be the right word) his pubic area. Aha! What does this mean? Was there a hookie nearby?

Since Ram was known very well to me, I enjoyed the liberty to ask him if his scratching was a live communication with the hookup or if it was a gift from one the hookups. May be Jason? “What do you mean?,” sneered Ram. “It is just sweat and heat that is making me scratch”, defended Ram.
I could clearly see that Ram was annoyed on hearing Jason’s name, and now that I was trying to relate every scratch with Jason and that infuriated him. Without scoffing at Ram, I asked if he had a few minutes to spare. He reluctantly said yes.

Lousy to Louse
Ram also appeared paranoid like the Hollywood Directors who made movies on aliens invading the US and global warming destructing the planet. But the crab louse invaded the human population 3.3 million years ago and continues to hold approximately 2% of the global population. And now, Ram was the latest victim!

Once I started to explain the epidemic backed up with some statistics, Ram showed signs of calming down and paying attention to my words. I even shared an anecdote from my life and how I caught the bug from an unsuspecting hook-up, but then I confessed not having the maturity to call up the person and ask him to get treated for the bug. Not sure who passed it to him, but humans are the most common carriers for body louse. BTW, that friend is still on my FACE BOOK. Any guesses?

Hiding dens
Crab louse is contracted through body contact and it typically found in coarse hair (around armpits, pubic area, long beard, etc.). They feed on human blood and multiply at a very fast rate. The eggs of the crab louse are laid usually on the coarse hairs of the genital and perianal regions of the human body. If left untreated and unattended, they can invade your body and bedding in a few days time.

Before I could complete sharing the instructions about cleaning and spraying the bedding material with the medication, Ram started to vigorously scratch himself. I couldn’t picture those bugs multiplying by the dozen and depositing their eggs at the root of the coarse hair. And for smooth men crab louse may not be an issue, but for hairy men it can be a hell. Looking at his hairy chest, I understood his agony and I stopped narrating the facts. I took Ram to the nearby medical store.

Getting a scrub
Without any hiss, hesitation or worry about being judged by the pharmacist, I asked him for a solution to treat pubic lice. Ram quietly stood beside me, as though he has no part in this alien infestation. But if the pharmacist was attentive he would noticed Ram’s body language and drawn up his own conclusions. 

The pharmacist explained the treatment options to me, shared usage directions and periodicity of usage. etc. And towards the end he instructed me to share this medicine with my partner and asked both of us to get checked for other sexually transmitted infections and finally punctuated by looking at Ram. Ram was embarrassed by the “look” from the pharmacist, and immediately stepped out of the pharmacy to take an incoming call on his mobile. Who called Ram? Could that be Jason? Did he call Ram to ask him to get treated for the bug?

Yes bug, no hug!
Ram was overwhelmed by the instructions given by the pharmacist. He cursed Jason and his hyper-active libido. He badly needed a hug, but then I was afraid of contracting the bug from him. Ram took the medication from me and hid it in his bag and we walked towards his home. I could see the bug sucking Ram’s blood and feeding on his happiness. Ram was down and worried but with medication in his bag he was just a few days away from getting rid of his itch and start hitch hiking again on the metro. 

Don't carry the betaal home
Prevention is always better than cure, but that shouldn’t mean that we must not have sex. Men may look physically attractive, well groomed, well mannered, but may not be itch-free.

1. Sleep only with men who are well groomed, who have a good sense of personal hygiene and who don’t scratch their private parts
2. A friend of mine man(dates) his hook-ups to shit, shave, shower and brush (not in the same order) before he gets to bed with him. He also washes himself with the anti-lice solution post sex. Not sure if this is strictly enforceable
3. Ensure that the pubic area is shaven or closely trimmed and make that a condition for anyone who wants to sleep with you
4. It is only my hook-ups that gave me crabs and not my ex-partners. So, possibly have a regular sex buddy and ensure both of you treat yourself for crab louse.

It would be a few weeks before Ram gets rid of the gift and starts to play the field again and when he does,  we will come back with more stories. Until then hang in there, stay clean itch-free and play safe. If you have any itch stories, share them! Wink!