Flower power

We are colleagues and we’ve known each other for just over 2 months and she waited for the moon to come up and then invited me to the terrace. By then most of the office was empty. Her long hair was touching the parapet wall and I was imaging a Cleopatra on the balcony. I didn’t know what to expect but it felt like walking into the doctor’s room to discuss my blood sample result. I’m not sure what followed was an information, proposition or a confession or all of the above? She said she was not looking at me as just another colleague and she had a “thing” for me. The very moment I heard this I lost my hearing and my heart was in my mouth. I felt dizzy and moved away from the parapet wall.

I looked into her eyes and the storm was brewing. She broke down and summarized her 5 year old married life in just three words “on the rocks”. I was not sure if all this was true but felt like in a state of inebriety. Inebriety from the flower power?
Truly looking back at my interactions with her, there was no flirtation, no sexual overtones and no everything that straight men do to attract women. We discuss blogs, books, movies, music and at time scamper on office gossip. Does all this make me and other gay men attractive cand(y)dates?

She is the fifth friend and the second of married women who have openly expressed their attraction for me. Both of them had a not so good marriage. What is with gay men and women in a bad marriage? Why is it these women still get attracted to men after their bad experiences? Do we share the same complains about men? Does misery loves company?

The first time a married colleague approached expressing her feelings for me I was shocked and labeled her a “strumpet”. But after few experiences I could relate to their desperation for good and light hearted men. Over the years I’ve found that we are running the same race; we are chasing the same men, the men who are ruthless, heartless and animal. Am I sounding like Desperate housewives?

It is just not married women who’ve approached even unwed women find me attractive. Am I adonis? Am I “chick magnet”? Am I loaded with cash? I am just an ordinary looking guy, will just normal IQ laced with arrogance and still these women are drawn towards me? Is it just me or is it the flower power of gay men? I have done a lot of activities with my unwed women friends who’ve proposed to me. We’ve watched chick flicks together, we enjoy the similar kind of sitcoms ( SATC, Desp Housewives), we enjoy pastel colors, craft work, enjoy cooking, cleaning iced bitching.

I may have disappointed half a dozen women who’ve proposed to me, but I have never used and abused them. I felt like holding her hand, giving her a warm hug and assuring her of my friendship for life. May be I could confess to her my side of the story and forge a bilateral fag hag alliance. May be I could share with her my heartbreak stories, one night stands, and tales from the treacherous gay world. I was afraid of her reaction and I didn’t want my sexuality to curdle our professional relationship.

I have known a few friends who’ve come out to their women friends and colleagues. And they swear it was the easy and women were more accepting and understanding than their men. Is it because our hormones are not overpowering, drowning and coming across strongly? We don’t come across as those powerful men who go around them like a merry go round and vanish after the ride. All said and done, we are gentle and genteel. BTW, isn’ that flower power?